When I sit down to lunch with my friends who are parents, they often describe how their kids have high IQ. IQ alone is not sufficient in this 21st century to succeed. Almost every decision we take in our daily life is based on our emotion. More decisions have to be made based on the gut feeling when you move up in your career. Many management positions require a quick decision and taking up responsibility for the decision as the primary skill to excel.
Many of the parents are worried because Emotional Intelligence (Emotional Quotient) is missing in their children. Emotional Intelligence is the missing link between IQ and success. A lot of books have been published in the recent past on the importance of emotional intelligence for effective leadership.
IQ + (?) = Success
The kids have developed a need for instant gratification. They are unable to understand or manage their emotions. As they grow up, they have unrealistic views of reality and lack the emotional maturity to deal with the problems. They lack the ability to deal with the setbacks and may develop self-destructive behavior.
Emotional Intelligence is popularized by Daniel Goleman
Daniel Goleman says that before he published his book on Emotional Intelligence in 1995, he thought of overhearing a conversation where people use the phrase emotional intelligence. He did in fact achieved that in every school in the developed world and it is slowly catching up in the developing countries.
Singapore, Japan, Hong Kong, Malaysia, and Korea from Asian countries are leading in introducing subjects on emotional intelligence in the school curriculum. In Europe, along with the UK, a dozen other countries have embraced EI in their schools. In 2002 UNESCO initiated to the ministries of education in 140 countries to included emotional intelligence in their curriculum. Read more at danielgoleman.info
When it comes to adults, the numerous problems that we face in our everyday life reduce our coping capabilities and perceive life with a negative outlook. Also, adults are driven by their need to lead the rat race. It often comes at a cost; they trample on other’s emotions knowingly or unknowingly. The lack of emotional intelligence leads to lack of collaboration, distrust of others intentions, inability to manage conflicts, and arrive at a win-win situation during the negotiation in an organization. When the lack of emotional intelligence is at a leadership level, it has proven to be disastrous for the whole organization.
10 Ways to Enhance Your Emotional Intelligence by Psychology Today
1. Don’t distract yourself from your feelings.
2. Don’t dismiss your feeling early.
3. Correlate your feeling with previous feelings.
4. Think about your feeling.
5. Listen to your body.
6. Ask feeling to someone else.
7. Understand your unconscious feelings.
8. Rate you overall wellbeing every day
9. Write thoughts and feelings down.
10. Set the limit for your emotion. Read more at psychologytoday.com
Emotional intelligence is being aware of our emotions, understanding the triggering factors and learning to manage the emotions. It applies to understanding others emotions, the triggering factors and managing them to resolve conflicts. In my subsequent blog, I will discuss how to improve emotional intelligence.
‘Emotions are not a choice, but behavior is!’ – Unknown